The other night, as I was sitting on my love seat, alone in my apartment, eating french fries and drinking milk for dinner, wearing my snuggie, and watching America's Next Top Model, I realized something.
I am in a movie.
This has to be it. Girl, splits with boyfriend after long relationship. Lives alone with cat. Enjoys reading, cooking, dancing in her underwear, coffee, and watching French films. Works way too much, spends her evenings home alone, cooking for one, cleaning apartment, watching reruns of SVU, going to bed early. Has awkward accidents in which she drops pieces of cake frosting side down on her light-colored skirt, or trips while walking down stairs and breaks her favorite shoe.
Enter Tall Dark & Handsome?
Or not. I am in a romantic comedy without the actual romance part, in a love story without the impending love interest, without the guy who comes along to sweep the beautiful-underneath-her-glasses girl off her feet. As Kili pointed out, that is exactly how rom-coms work, though. The dorky girl in the ill-fitting skirt (or the banging hot one who just hasn't met Mr. Right yet) never actually knows that the impending love interest is about to enter her story, never suspects that the man in the next office loves French films and is an excellent hand in the kitchen.
Somehow, though, I don't think I'm quite as magnetic as Melanie Smooter or Sally Albright (yes I had to imdb those names. Hilarious/amazing if you didn't have to, too). This particular romantic comedy will most likely remain a plain comedy of the Liz Lemon variety. I'll keep my headscarf and snuggie on, thank you very much, and that 10:00 bedtime would look pretty damn good to you, too, if you had to get up before 6:00am. Besides, it is a favorite past-time of mine to step back and observe the ways in which my life presents situations that make people laugh and cringe when depicted on the big screen.