These are the Things that Make Me

I have seen an octopus squeeze itself through a one inch hole. In a youtube video, of course, but I watched the whole thing.

Once, on a day trip to the nearby town of Beziers, I saw an ostrich from the train. Later, in the town center, I saw a camel. A CAMEL. I wish I had touched it. We all have our regrets.

Almost four winters ago, I sat on a couch, under a comforter, wearing my black ski coat and a hat--I don't think I had my hot pink one yet but I'd like to pretend for a second that it was my hot pink one--and drank hot chocolate with mint schnapps in it just to stay warm. I offered my boys peanut butter balls and they gave me a book wrapped in a microwave.

I was told very recently that in an average conversation, most people cannot go more than 20 seconds without mentioning themselves. Even in telling you this, I am making it about me.

I have danced to Time to Pretend at a nightclub in Barcelona at 6 in the morning when I was all dolled up and wearing red lipstick. And I discovered that night that if the conditions are just right--and this night the conditions were near perfect--one is liable to get confused and think the song was written about them. Feeling rough and feeling raw has a whole new meaning on the other side of dawn.

Evidently I've become fluent in French.

Hanging above the table at which my high school English teacher sat to lecture, there was a round purple sphere. It was the Grape of Wrath.

I've somehow managed to make a vague connection between love and gummy bears.

I saw a fox the other day! This was not a youtube video. This was real life.