Well, I did it. I presented my first paper. I did not throw up. I did not pass out. I did not go over the time limit. No one threw anything at me, or asked me mean questions that I couldn't answer.
I'm not entirely sure I made myself understood, though. Quizzical looks throughout and a lack of questions directed towards me after only served to enhance this suspicion.
Luckily, I am not required to add "no one understood my paper" to the new entry on my Curriculum Vitae.