If you're lost in the rain in Juarez, and it's Eastertime, too

then you should probably make this drink. Or you should make it if you, too, spent eight hours solid staring at a computer screen and working with spreadsheets. Or you should make it when you have one of those I-need-a-goddamn-drink kind of days. You could also make it if you find yourself somewhere with a watermelon. It's entirely possible that Baby would have done a lot better for herself had she made this drink. (ba-da-bing.)

If you do happen to find yourself carrying with a watermelon, chop it up and puree it. Strain the pulp through a sieve, and don't skip this step because we did the night before and it almost choked somebody. And it was very unpleasant coming up through a straw.

Add ice and too much gin to some fancy glasses you find in the back of your sister's cabinet. Avoid judging my choice of gin. I am on a budget, after all.

We added some fresh lime juice, and topped it off with club soda made from Scarlet's Sodastream, but I would suggest just buying real club soda because Sodastreams don't actually make anything bubbly.

I might also add some mint next time. Or swap the lime for muddled bluebrries. Or, if I lived in Washington still, I'd go outside and pick some blackberries off the vine and use them instead of watermelon.

The possibilities are literally endless, because it's called a ______ gin fizz with, so as long as you have gin and fizz and something to fill the blank, you're doing it right. So, I guess I never really made this drink properly, since we had no fizz. Sodastream. Psh.